You already know you should go back. That is not the problem. The problem is that every time you pick up the Mushaf, something inside you says: who are you to be holding this? That voice is not your conscience. That voice is Shaytan. And the fact that it is using your guilt against you is proof that he is scared of what happens when you return. The Trap of Feeling Too Sinful to Come Back Here is what the guilt does. It tells you that you need to clean yourself up first. Fix your life first. Stop sinning first. Then, once you are worthy, you can return to the Quran. It sounds humble. It even sounds Islamic. But it is a lie. The Quran was not revealed for perfect people. It was revealed as a guide and a mercy for those who are lost, struggling, and in need of direction. That is you. That is all of us. Allah says in Surah Az-Zumar, verse 53: Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful. Read that again slowly. He is speaking to people who have transgressed against themselves. People who know they have messed up. And the command is not to fix yourself first. The command is to not despair. Waiting until you are good enough to return to the Quran is like waiting until you are healthy enough to go to the doctor. It has it backwards. What Guilt Is Actually Doing to Your Hifz Journey You had pages. Maybe juz. You could recite them in salah. You felt connected to something real. Then life pulled you away, or you pulled yourself away, and one day you realised the ayahs that once sat comfortably in your chest had started to fade. That loss hurts. And for many people, the pain of having lost it becomes the exact reason they cannot pick it up again. Because picking it up means confronting what you lost. And confronting what you lost means confronting why you lost it. So the guilt layers on top of itself. First guilt about the sins. Then guilt about neglecting the Quran. Then guilt about not coming back sooner. And before you know it, years have passed and you are no closer to finishing what you started as a child. If this is you, you are not alone. This is one of the most common things that holds adults back from restarting their Hifz. And it has nothing to do with ability. It is entirely a mindset trap. If you find yourself also stuck in the cycle of putting it off day after day, you might recognise yourself in why you keep procrastinating on Quran memorization too. How to Actually Return When Guilt Has a Hold on You The return does not start with a schedule. It does not start with downloading an app or finding a teacher. It starts with a moment of honesty between you and Allah. Make tawbah. Not a vague mental intention. Sit, face the qiblah, and speak to Allah about where you are. Tell Him you are ashamed. Tell Him you want to come back. Ask Him to make it easy. This is not a ritual. This is you reopening a door that was never truly shut. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said: The one who repents from sin is like one who has no sin. (Ibn Majah, graded hasan by Al-Albani) After tawbah, pick up the Quran the same day. Not tomorrow. Today. Do not start with memorization pressure. Just read. Even one page. Even a few ayahs you still remember. Let yourself feel the words again before you worry about retaining them. The connection will come back faster than you think. Your brain still holds more than you believe it does. What feels erased is usually just buried under rust. A little consistent contact and it starts to surface again. Once you have broken the ice and the guilt has loosened its grip, then you build the structure. Set a small, non-negotiable daily target. Something so simple you cannot fail it. Even five ayahs a day is a return. And a return, however small, is what Allah rewards. When you are ready to be more intentional about how you memorize and revise, the techniques in how to memorize the Quran faster will give you a solid system to build on. Ready to Come Back? HifzBuddy Is Here for That If you are returning to Hifz after years away, you need more than motivation. You need a structured system that meets you where you are, not where you were as a child. HifzBuddy by Tajul Furqan Academy was built for adults who already know how to memorize but need accountability, structure, and a clear path forward. If the guilt has been keeping you stuck, HifzBuddy gives you the practical next step so that the return does not stay in your head. If you are somewhere further along and your main struggle is revision, keeping old surahs locked in while adding new ones, HifzBuddy has a revision system designed to help you maintain what you have without feeling overwhelmed. You worked hard for those pages. Do not let them slip again. And if you are just starting out and want to do this properly from the beginning with the right habits and the right support, HifzBuddy will give you the foundation you need. Wherever you are in this journey, the door is open. Take the first real step today. May Allah make your return to His Book easy, accepted, and lasting. May He replace the guilt with love, and the distance with closeness. You belong with the Quran. Come back.
Tajul Furqan 